


This is New to Me, This is New to You

by HandleWithCare



Series: Gus and Rusty Navigating Communication [1]
Category: Major Crimes (TV)
Genre: A bit of angst but not regarding their relationship, M/M, References to Gus' past, References to Rusty's past, References to past abuse (canon), References to past sexual abuse (canon)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 00:04:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14031783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HandleWithCare/pseuds/HandleWithCare
Summary: Gus and Rusty are still learning how to communicate their feelings to one another. It's not always easy, but they both agree that it's more than worth it.





	This is New to Me, This is New to You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!! Sorry it took me so long to update. I was really busy with school and not in the best mindset to write, but I am back with the second installment of this series. This one takes place a short time after the first part, so, this part will probably make more sense if you read the first part. The title comes from Khalid's song "Location" by the way. Again, there are references to Rusty and Gus' pasts in this (though nothing explicit), so make sure you check out the tags before reading and take care of yourselves.
> 
> Constructive criticism and suggestions for future parts of this series or other stories are always appreciated. I have an idea in mind for the next part, so it hopefully shouldn't take me as long to update. 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @ say-youll-be-there :)

Rusty let out a heavy sigh, leaning back against Gus’ chest. It had been a particularly hard day at school and he was glad to be able to just lie down and watch crappy reality television with his boyfriend. Gus had the night off for the first time in weeks and D.D.A. Hobbs didn’t need him to come down to the station. It was nights like this: crappy television, comfy sweatshirts, and sparkling cider, that he loved.

His relationship with Gus has been stronger than ever. Ever since they had that long talk about Rusty’s past, things have been even better than before. Rusty hadn’t expected it, but him opening up led to Gus opening up about his own history of abuse and how his time in the army had affected him. Not only did it enhance his thinking that Gus always manages to surprise him, but it also showed him that a world exists outside of his own head and he needs to start understanding that. It also made him acknowledge that he can be sort of selfish sometimes and only think of his own issues, but, now that he fully understands it, he knows that he wants to be better. The whole experience had been long and emotional, but they came out trusting each other even more and being more willing to communicate.

Gus slowly leans across Rusty’s body, grabs the remote, and mutes the television as the current episode ends.

Rusty sits up and turns around to look at him.

“What’s up?” he asks.

Gus shrugs. “Not much, nothing bad at least. I just wanted to talk to you about something.”

His voice gets softer as he goes on and he refuses to make eye contact. Now, Rusty is concerned. He immediately moves from his position between Gus’ legs and settles himself next to Gus. He takes Gus’ hand in his own two and looks at him.

“Whatever it is, Gus, you can tell me. Remember, communication is key and all that.”

Gus chuckles a bit before looking at Rusty.

“I know. And its nothing serious, I guess. I just don’t know if you’ll want to talk about it. Not that it’s something intense,” he adds as he watches Rusty’s shoulders tense. “I just don’t want to ask something that might upset you or that you’re not ready to talk about, but there is something I want to tell you about and I don’t want you to feel like you have to add something or that we have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable. I’m sorry, I’m not making any sense.”

Rusty watches Gus rub his free hand over his face for a few seconds before it finally rests against his chin. He squeezes Gus’ other hand a bit before taking a deep breath and addressing him.

“Hey, look, Gus, whatever you want to say, you should say it. I get being nervous about upsetting me, but, ugh, I don’t know. This is all so new. I mean, I worry about upsetting you, too. And I want to say that we can talk about anything any time, but we can’t because I can’t and its so frustrating. I just want to be able to talk to you and I hate that you have to worry about talking to me.”

He stops for a moment and takes some deep breaths. He and Dr. Joe had been discussing ways for him to address his frustrations without making Gus, or anyone really, feel responsible or guilty.

“I’m sorry, I’m trying to work on the whole ‘taking my frustrations out on those who love me most’ thing. It’s just that I want you to feel comfortable and part of the reason you can’t is because I’m still not comfortable with everything’s that happened to me and I don’t know how long it’ll take, if ever, and I don’t want you to feel like you have to stay around and, I don’t know, wait for me to be someone I may never be.”

He’s still holding Gus’ hand and, this time, he feels Gus squeeze back.

“Rusty,” he starts with his signature small grin that always holds something a bit sadder and more vulnerable within it, “I know that its hard for you to talk about certain stuff. I know that. Sometimes, its hard for me to talk about stuff, too.  Would you not want to be with me because talking about certain stuff upsets me?”

Rusty shakes his head slightly and Gus nods in response.

“See,” he begins, “I’m with you because I love you, Rusty Beck, and loving you means loving all of you and loving you through all of the ups and the downs. I hate that you had to go through so much shit. Sometimes, I let myself think about it and then have to stop myself from doing something I might regret.”

He breaks off suddenly with a dry sob and Rusty instinctively holds his hand just a bit tighter, tears beginning to well up in his own eyes. Gus squeezes back and blinks a few times, collecting himself before continuing.

“I would never push you to talk about something you don’t want to. And I know you wouldn’t push me. Part of communication is letting each other know what is completely off-limits, at least for now, and trusting that we’ll always ask each other before bringing up something that we’re not sure about.”

Rusty nods. “You sound like Dr. Joe,” he quipps quietly, his voice sounding slightly hoarse.

Gus lets out a watery laugh. “Yeah, I’ve been doing some research. I want this relationship to be one built off of trust and communication because, frankly, its what we both deserve after all of the shit this damn world’s put us through, but also because I am so hopelessly in love with you, and, when I picture my future, I see you in it. Always.”

Gus removes his hand from Rusty’s to wipe at his eyes. “Sorry,” he says, “I didn’t mean to drop that on you. I know it’s a lot and you totally don’t have to feel the same way. I guess I just wanted you to know that.”

Rusty nods. “It is a lot, but I’m glad you told me. I don’t want you to feel afraid to say things to me.  To be honest, I have a hard time thinking about the future. Right now, all I want for my future is happiness and you make me so happy. And I trust you. I do.”

He looks at Gus and connects their hands once more. Gus looks down at their conjoined hands and then back up to Rusty.

“So, we’re okay?” he asks.

“We’re very okay,” Rusty replies before letting go of Gus’ hand and kissing his cheek. “So, what was it you wanted to talk about?”

“I feel like we’ve talked enough for tonight,” he answers, “I’m experiencing too many emotions right now. Maybe we can talk about it this weekend when you stay over. It’s not, like, crucial or anything. Just something I’ve been meaning to talk about.”

Rusty nods. “If you’re sure.”

Gus kisses his cheek again, his eyes still a bit red but his smile in full bloom. “I am. Now, let’s get back to enjoying this truly awful t.v. show.”

Rusty shakes his head in amusement but places his head on Gus’ shoulder, feeling lighter than he has all day.


End file.
